We have all heard about "drama" in relationships and most people agree they don't want any. There is also a personal drama. You can have drama all on your own.
Guilt is personal drama. Self pity is personal drama. Yes, even anxiety is personal drama. Any rehearsal of negative thinking corresponding to the negative emotions is a form of personal drama. We make our own.
Some call this drama passion. Passion sounds much better to our rational thinking. We even think we want passion because no passion is dull, right? If we had no passion then we would become auto bots. Not so...this confusion happens in our understanding of the word passion. Passion can mean strong anger, love, lust or sexual desire and also means boundless enthusiasm. Even the sufferings of Jesus from the last supper on is called the Passion.
You can feel pain...pain of loss, pain of another's suffering and still have peace. Your emotions are not your state of being. Your state of being...peace...is ....and always is....you just are not always aware of it....and emotions can travel thru it. A wave of grief.sorrow, anger or desire......all can come and go in a relatively short period of time...but the peace remains.
Why is it that we feel something for as long as we do? Our minds create an unnatural connection to the emotion. We pick it up and begin to think through it. Our thoughts feed it. When an emotion is rehearsed...it gets stuck so to speak...release is needed. Emotions are designed to be released...not rehearsed. Often, it requires forgiveness to find this release. Remember by this time, our ego has invested itself in certain aspects of what we are dealing with. We even have solid thought constructs...runways, for the thought to have the right to be rehearsed. Like, “No one should be allowed to do that!" "This is just wrong!" "I am done being used! I am going to fight back!" " I am so miserable and have been miserable for years "(months...days...you put in the appropriate word).." I have never felt like this, I must do...(whatever)... ..In fact, we find ourselves looking at present occurring circumstances to justify and build the case to hold the grievance, our negative thoughts. After all, we all have the right to defend ourselves, right?! After all, we are only human. They all sound reasonable don't they?
Once we reach this point, we have fully bought into the stream of self pity...of the need to experience pain, or inflict it, need to be right...It is all some drama that seeks to justify itself so that we may continue the thoughts and thereby keep it alive. In fact, we may even cause it to grow. We have totally identified ourselves as the set of feelings and thoughts we are in.
The way out? We can come to understand that having an emotion come and go is not really "how we are". Any more than when we have an upset stomach, we do not think that is “who we are”. We think it is happening within us. Now, it is true that if we have a stomach pain that continues, we develop thought constructs around it and it can become part of our self identify...who we are, at least we think so. It is only our thoughts that did this. Our way of thinking.
I felt compassion today when I saw a young mother trying to shop with her distressed two year old. She did not have the understanding or awareness to realize what she was doing and how hurtful it could be. But how "I" am is peaceful... How I relate to my circumstances is not how I relate to Life. I am life...how I relate to my body or my appearance or my finances, or this lady and her child,...these are all circumstances that this form has....but "I" am the animating energy within. The circumstances can all change. In fact, it is a sure thing, they will...change. How I related to the young woman was to smile at her and make a loving comment about the challenge she faced. She smiled and sighed. All of Life's forms are impermanent. So, by definition are unstable....always shifting and changing. They pass....they pass....
Don't berate yourself...or them...you each did the best you know how in that moment. You did...and believe it or not...what you did was perfect...you could have done nothing else. You are not an isolated collection of atoms operating independently in this time space reality altho your mind would like to tell you that you are. You are connected to a great cosmos. You can open yourself up to Life and flow with it. That is where you will truly "find yourself". Does that mean you can't change things, circumstances? No, of course not...but then your change is a positive one...an action reaching out in love (with positive energy) not a defensive one rejecting or trying to get away from something you wish to resist or dislike. Reaching toward..... not fighting against.
You hurt. Loss is painful. You grieve ...yet still you can have peace deep down within. The storms of life are like the surface of the waters. Sometimes rough, sometimes pleasant...but always deep down in the water, it is still and peaceful.. Remember You are not the laughter, the tears...you are not just the form that is expereincing those things...you are the conscious that animates your form. You are....Life itself.
Nothing is actually...wrong....can you see yourself moving from one thing to another , one circumstance to another, because you wish to have more of the beauty, the joy, the love ...not as a reaction. Not to avoid the bad..not to conquer anything (much less the world). Don't carry a feeling, rehearsing it until it becomes a personal problem. You are creating your own drama. Your mind made it so......
You are whole and complete, you are peace............ that peace that passes all understanding (thoughts) ....you have no problems, situations, yes...but problems require your mind to make the situations into a problem.
Say these words
I have no problems...none...I am free,,,,,here in this moment.....
What in this moment is lacking?
.....lean back....smile and ......breathe......
selah.....
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